Lifestyle, Wellness

NATURAL HAIR JOURNEY: What made me love my hair

Growing up I looked like a boy because my mom would always cut my hair short to avoid dealing with the headache that natural hair brings. And she’d dress me like one most times, I think my parents might’ve secretly wanted a son. That soon changed when I was introduced to relaxers. I had always admired how straight and silky other girls hair looked after they had just relaxed it, so I too wanted the straight silky smooth feel. Maybe I’d also stop looking like a boy. The problem with that was that my scalp was too sensitive so I was prone to chemical burns which resulted in my hair not being effectively straightened. Though i kept relaxing either way because i would much rather deal with a burnt scalp then what society saw as ugly, dirty and unmanageable or even sitting for hours just so my hair would get braided.

Though with time I noticed that afro’s were slowly becoming a trend. More and more African black people were beginning to embrace their kinks and coils. Some were blogging about their journey while others were creating hair care Youtube videos, even models were walking the runway natural. This really inspired me but I was still skeptical about the big chop. I just didnt have enough courage. I tried transitioning but that didnt turn out quite well. Until one day when I got really frustrated with my heat damaged hair and hairline. “Cut it all off” I had told the hairdresser. “Are you sure”, I wasn’t but before I could say No the damage had already been done.

“I felt uncomfortable…ugly! My forehead looked bigger than usual, my elf ears were exposed ‘Oh what have I done. I look like a boy again’, my braces were not even doing me any justice!”

The first few months were spent obsessing over the length of my hair. I kept wishing it would grow long enough for me to braid it. I was tired of looking like a boy with big boobs. So when it finally grew that’s exactly what I did, braids have been my hero ever since. Last month however I challenged myself to stay natural for 30 days. This extended to about 50 days and i’m glad i took this challenge because not only did i get time to learn about what works for my hair but i also got to understand it. I finally grew in love with my beautiful kinky mess.


1. Freedom

I am no longer slave to relaxers so i no longer have to worry about my scalp suffering from chemical burns.


2. It’s different

Natural hair is a unique representation of you. It has adapted to your diet, your hair regime and weather conditions. I don’t know much about these 4c, 3d hair types but I’ve had a lot of people who’ve touched my hair compliment me on its softness and it being different. I’ve also recently noticed strands of defined coils and curls after I had shampoo’d and conditioned it . This made me happy because I’ve always been a lover of curly hair


3. Keeping in touch with my roots

If you take a look back into black African history you’ll learn that the main reason we as black people were enslaved is because of our unique features. We’ve been told for the longest time that we’re ugly monkeys. Our melanin filled black skin, full lips, voluptuous body and nappy hair. But being natural for 1year 5months and embracing my natural hair for almost 2months. I’d like to believe that I’m emancipating myself from that perception. Also looking in the mirrior I don’t think I’ve ever felt my most beautiful because of my natural hair.


4. Versatility

My hair hasn’t reached the length I feel I can experiment with it yet but I love the many styles i can pull off with protective styling, Bobbi pins, flat twists etc.


5. Healthy

Since I’ve went natural I’ve realised how strong my hair has become compared to when I used to relax it. I don’t have to worry about a struggling hairline and heat damaged hair

I’m still learning a lot about natural hair. I don’t use much product as I don’t really know what’ll work for my hair. I’ve been reading on social networks that coconut oil is very good for hair but I’m doubtful because it seems to be a remedy for everything. So If you know of any products I can experiment with that you know for sure will be good for my natural hair please leave your comment below. Also tell me what you hate or love about your hair

30 thoughts on “NATURAL HAIR JOURNEY: What made me love my hair”

  1. You can try castor oil as it stimulates growth. Also, develop a regimen.
    I love the way my baby hair looks when well moisturised. I also love my shrinkage
    I hate it that my hair breaks a lot. Well, at least that reduced when I started doing guava rinses.

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    1. Caster oil and guava rinsed? Seems like I still have a lot to learn about natural hair. I also hate shrinkage but i try to find time to flat twist my hair every night before I sleep as I’ve seen it does help. Thank you so much for the tip. I’ll head off to the store today.

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  2. You really did look like a boy when you were little.
    Not a lot of people look as good as you do/did when your hair was at its TWA stage.
    And true about the freedom. My big chop is less than a week old and I feel like I’ve been missing out of some kind of independence

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  3. Coconut oil really is the best though. And Cantu products are good and smell great. It can take a lot of time and money to find the perfect products for your hair but it’s worth it in the end to maintain your curl pattern and length.

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  4. Loved this post! I went through a bad relationship with my hair too, and now I love it natural. I’m still experimenting to find things that will make my curls pop, I’ve been loving black castor mixed with olive oil.

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  5. Girl! That big chop photo of you is STUNNING! I echo your sentiments about natural hair. I think it’s sad that there had to be a movement to teach black women to love their features, but I’m glad we’re here now. Being natural is almost like being part of an exclusive sisterhood or something lol. I love it! I’ve been natural since 2010. I’ve done 2 big chops, MANY twist out styles, afros and now…locs! I love when people say they love curly hair and here it is we have been the ones with the curliest of hair all along (a tight coil or ‘nap’ is essentially a curl). Loved this post!

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  6. Great post! ☺Glad you decided to give being natural a try, those painful relaxer session aren’t worth it. If you’re interested in natural hair care, my blog covers most topics about it, feel free to check it out

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  7. Glad to see you embracing your natural hair! When I was younger my parents started relaxing my hair really early. Age 5. I think I would have preferred if they cut it so I looked like a boy. The chemicals burned!!

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